A customer at my workplace is a spiritual healer who splits her time between the hustle and bustle of the DC Metro area and the spiritually infused Sedona Valley in Arizona. Her zen-like qualities are easy to spot, especially among the metaphorical and literal rats of the race. Her peppered hair is soft like her voice, whispering enlightened words that soothe my existence.
Today she arrived a little later than usually, and I immediately noticed her visually striking necklace. She approached the counter, and explained the symbolism of her ornamental chain. It was a cluster of light-purple gem stones embellished with two silver fish forming a parenthesis-like shape around a silver ball. After I asked about them pendant she informed, "They represent two fish swimming effortlessly through life going with the flow, they are contrasted by fish who try an swim upstream." She turned the pendant over, equally entranced on the necklace and the women who impacts my spiritual journey, even in our limited and brief exchanges. "This side has a snake that represents transformations of life, they are Tibetan symbols that I truly cherish".
She shuffled off and I sat in amazement. I have always been fascinated by the power of words, and their ability to comfort me. Her sentiments immediately took me to thoughts of a converstion I had with my sister the previous night. I was driving home, and discussing my life-plans with my younger sister. I began, "I think I want to...", before I could even conjure images of my future my sister cut me off. " I don't want to sit here and listen to the things you MAY do. I need you to make a choice and carry it through", her words stung me; a physical an emotional response to the truth.
Both of the sentiments impact my current position. As most twenty-somethings, I'm lost. I moved 400 miles away from my family and while I do not want to return to my home state, I can no longer deny my desire to relocate. I have been a fish, going with the flow, which I may add is against my nature, and feel as if I am aimlessly wandering without a true plan or identity. While I know that I have success on my horizon, I am unsure if my path is correct. I frequently suggest balance to others in conflicting circumstances, but take no solace in my own words. While I am going with the flow, I fear--I know, that I am doing it incorrectly. This post has no resolution as of yet, just a soul lost with so many unanswered questions. A human so blessed that instead of worrying about shelter or my next meal, I am privileged to think of my future, to hope for greater.
& so it is.
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